Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.
To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”
*Crying with laughter*
ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
- Take your time.
I know it seems urgent and that things have to get done, but seriously it’s not. Take your time in choosing when you’d like to transition, make sure it’s the right time; Uni is a good place to start fresh, get all your exams over and done with etc. Take your time choosing your name as it will have lasting impacts, and minimize the amount of deed-polls. Take your time to research and find people who can help. Take your time to listen to yourself and understand yourself and your needs better. For the older trans* person, still take your time in researching what you need and finding communities that will support you.
- It’s okay to feel doubt.
Just take a sit back and ask yourself why you are doing this. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own skin.
- Be patient, it’s a waiting game.
Things aren’t going to come easily, you may have to wait months to get what you want, maybe even years. You’re going to have to jump through many hoops, but it will be worth it. Changes take their time, don’t expect immediate results.
- It’s not all about the Hormones and Surgery.
Changing your perception of self is hard, but once you’ve done that then others will begin to see you the same way you see you. The hormones and surgery are NOT the be all and end all of being trans*, they are just a helping hand, but most of the work needs to be you and your self perception. You’re still a valid trans* person even if you don’t want surgery or hormones.
- You’re going to be jealous.
Jealous of other trans* people, how fast they are transitioning. Of cis people and their perfect bodies, or that person that balances so perfectly outside the binary. It happens, just remember that one day [it might be today] a trans* person is going to be jealous of you, and the people you look up too have been jealous of someone. You’ll get there one day, even if it’s not what you might expect.
- It will take up to at least 30% of your brain-space.
And that’s on a good day. It’s like leaving photo shop on in the background of your laptop. As you become more confident in yourself, these things will get less, I don’t know if it fully goes away, nor do I know if I fully want it to go away.
- When you feel dysphoric remember:
There are cis women out there with receding hairlines, strong jawlines and they still look good. There are cis men out there with wide hips, small shoulders and they still look good.
- It’s okay to accidently call yourself by your old name.
You’re not a bad trans* person for doing so. You and everyone else has been calling yourself that for a very long time, it’s going to take some un-learning. This could take a year or two.
- Coming out is hard.
Make it easier, prepare what you’re going to say. Prepare for the usual questions (was it my fault? are you sure you’ve thought about this? You’re going to ruin your life…) Print out some stuff for them to read. Be prepared for them not to take you seriously until you’ve changed your name. Remember to have a plan b for if it goes sour.
- You will get misgendered.
Mainly by people who knew you before, they have some unlearning to do and as long as they are trying and making an effort, then there is nothing more you can do except remind them gently. Don’t jump down their throats otherwise they will stop making the effort.
- Being Trans* is hard, but it’s a journey worth taking.
No one has the same journey. No ones experiences are invalid. However Transmasculine people, you need to stop speaking over Transfemine people, they face more prejudice from society than we do, we have our spaces so let them have theirs.
I hope this helps some of you out there. If you have any problems with it or the wording feel free to message me and I’ll change it.